Title: Love Continued

Author: Slaymesoftly

Rating: NC17

Season III

Disclaimer: The characters don’t belong to me any more than they did the first time; but all hail Joss Whedon for inventing them.

Summary: The next in the series that began with the somewhat grim Loves Lost and continued in the angsty Love Awakened. Spike has returned to Sunnydale for a brief visit during which he was not really planning to let Buffy know he was there. As usual, his plans don’t work out quite like he expected.

Beta’d by the quick as a bunny and encouraging Always_jbj.

Love Continued

Joyce frowned when Buffy walked into the living room and threw herself down on the couch with a groan. One of the side effects of Buffy’s slayer strength and healing was that she rarely, if ever, got tired or sick. And yet, for the third afternoon this week, she had come home from school and rested on the couch until it was time for her to patrol.

“Maybe you should skip patrol tonight, Buffy,” her mother said kindly. “You really seem to be dragging and I think you should get more rest.”

Buffy heaved a sigh and shook her head wearily.

“Can’t do that, Mom. If I don’t patrol tonight, I’ll just have twice as many to slay tomorrow night. I’ll be all right. I’m just tired and sort of…weak.”

“Weak? You feel weak? Well, that’s it then. You are not going out there like that, young lady. I’ll just call Mr. Giles and tell him—“

“Mom! No. I’ll be fine. I won’t go out for long, I promise. Just a quick patrol through the closest cemeteries and I’ll come home. I promise.”

Joyce eyed her daughter dubiously, but in the end she gave in. Buffy was turning eighteen the next day and could no longer be considered a child, even if she hadn’t had her childhood ripped from her at an earlier age than most. She tried not to hold the girl’s watcher responsible for what had happened to Buffy the year before, but the fact that her daughter’s torment had occurred at the hands of someone who was trying to get back at the British librarian continued to stick with her and Joyce’s relationship with the other adult in Buffy’s life was tense at best.

Fortunately for Giles, Joyce was in bed and asleep when Buffy got home from her abbreviated patrol. She didn’t see the fear on her daughter’s face, or the scratches and bruises from the fight Buffy had almost lost against a fledgling vampire.

The following afternoon, during the slow dinnertime period, Joyce went into the back of the gallery to begin unpacking some new items. She had her head buried in a large wooden carton when the lid fell, temporarily trapping her with her upper body inside the box and her feet barely touching the floor. While struggling to get a good purchase with her feet so that she could pull herself out of the box without ripping her dress, she heard the back door fly open and just as quickly close with a bang. There was a startled “Bloody hell?” and then the lid was gone and she was able to clamber out of the box with some embarrassment.

As she had feared, holding the lid easily in one hand and grinning at her while she straightened her clothes and tried not to look mortified was the bleached blond vampire with whom Buffy had spent so much time the previous year. Lying beside him on the floor was the smoking blanket he had used to dodge the late afternoon sun while bolting from the manhole to the gallery’s back door.

Her gratitude for being released from the box was diluted by the knowledge that she was sure Spike was not in Sunnydale to see her. While Buffy had not yet found another man who could spark the same feelings that the blond vampire had been able to awaken, she had begun casually dating and seemed to once again be enjoying her life as a high school student. The reappearance of the man whose leaving had so devastated her did not bode well for Buffy’s continued recovery from heartbreak.

To Joyce’s surprise, rather than asking where Buffy was, he rather abruptly demanded, “When is Buffy’s birthday? Is she eighteen yet?”

Misunderstanding his question completely, Joyce drew herself up to her full height and glared at the master vampire.

“Since when do you care how old she is?” she asked pointedly.

“Don’t,” he said flatly, understanding immediately that she was referring to his short-lived sexual relationship with Buffy. “But you should.”

She glared at him with offended surprise and waited impatiently for an explanation.

“An’ you can bet the Watcher does,” he added enigmatically. “So, answer me, when’s her birthday?”

“It’s tomorrow,” Joyce snapped, angry at both his tone and his unexpected arrival. “Are you planning to make breaking her heart an annual event? Because, if you are, I can—“

He shook his head vigorously, cutting her off before she could finish her threat.

“You know you wanted me gone, Joyce. Don’t try to pretend you didn’t. She’s young, she’ll get over me.”

“Not if you keep coming back, she won’t!” She didn’t bother to deny his accusation. “You don’t know how long it took her to begin to enjoy life again. Showing up here is just going to—“

“She doesn’t need to know I’m here,” he said, shocking her to silence as she tried to understand why he would come to Sunnydale if not to see Buffy. “I’m not here for her,” he continued, adding, “Well, I am, but not that she needs to know about. I’m here to see her Watcher and to make sure she survives the barbaric ritual the Council of Wankers uses to reward slayers who’ve managed to live to adulthood.”

“What are you talking about?” Joyce’s happiness that he wasn’t going to disrupt Buffy’s life at odds with the fear his words engendered.

With a sigh, he slumped against a wooden crate and gave her a quick version of what happened to Slayers on their eighteenth birthdays. Joyce’s face darkened as she realized the reason for Buffy’s sudden weakness and exactly who was responsible for it.

“I’m going to kill that son of a bitch,” she muttered, reaching for the crow bar she had used to wrench the lids off the crates.

“So, I’m on time then? It hasn’t happened?” Relief was evident on the vampire’s face. “I got held up and almost didn’t get here. I was afraid I was going to be too late.”

“Not yet, it hasn’t. But it must be soon. Buffy has been tired and weak for days now. We thought she had a touch of the flu and I thought Giles was being a bastard for sending her out to patrol while she was sick. Now I see he’s even more of a bastard than I thought! I’m going to kill him,” she repeated, still hefting the heavy metal bar.

“Don’t let her go out tonight, Joyce,” he pleaded while mentally applauding her threats against the watcher. “I don’t care what she says. Hit her with that bar if you have to, but don’t let her go anywhere near her watcher. He’s going to be setting her up for the test and just in case I don’t find out where it’s going to be held in time to take care of it, I don’t want her anywhere near him. Can you do that?”

Joyce studied the vampire’s anxious face and her own expression softened.

“You do love her, don’t you, Spike,” she said softly, making it more a statement than a question.

“I do,” he answered simply. “With everything I am and have.” He shook himself abruptly. “An’ that’s why I’m not going to see her while I’m here. She doesn’t need another vampire in her life. But I’ll be watchin’ over her – and you,” he added with a smile. “Not gonna let anything happen to my girls – even if I’m not right here, I won’t be so far away that I can’t get back quickly if you need me.”

“How will you know? If we need you, I mean.”

“I’ll know, Joyce. My name still carries a little weight with the demons in this town. Trust me. I’ll know.” He stopped talking and looked around the storage room with interest. “You have some nice pieces here,” he said appreciatively. “You’ve got good taste, Joyce.”

“So does my daughter,” she said softly, putting a soft kiss on his cool cheek, then turning away so as to hide the laughter inspired by his obvious embarrassment.

“You’d best be getting’ home,” he said gruffly. “You’ll need to be there to catch her when she gets home from school. And remember, don’t let her go out with the watcher.”

“It would really not be in Giles’ best interest to be anywhere near my home for a while,” she said grimly.

“Jus’ keep her safe, Joyce. You let me worry about the Watcher and the team from the Council of Wankers.”

With a silent nod, she went back out into the main part of the gallery and told her employees she was leaving early. When she returned to the storeroom, it was empty and there was only a scattering of ashes on the floor where the blanket had been.

Chapter Two

Giles was puttering around the library, killing the minutes until it was time to pick Buffy up for the trip to the Ice Capades that he had promised her for her birthday. Guilt weighed heavily on his soul as he thought about the ordeal awaiting the girl he loved like a daughter. He muttered in mild irritation about the Council’s refusal to tell him anything about the vampire Buffy would be facing, other than where he needed to deliver her and what time to be there.

The watcher knew very little about the actual procedures for a Cruciamentum - all he’d been told was that he was to administer the drugs that would rob Buffy of her powers and to deliver her to the agreed-upon site of her trial. He assumed that the Council arranged the trials to favor the slayers, regardless of their not having their powers. His confidence in Buffy’s courage and resourcefulness when faced with an ordinary vampire was the only thing that allowed him to follow the Council’s orders to drug her into a weakened state. That and his assurance that the Council would never deliberately set her up to fail; that they might not want to keep an experienced slayer alive and on the job, simply had not occurred to him.

He cast an eye at the rapidly darkening sky and turned back to his work area. He was holding one of the drug bottles up to the light, trying to imagine what might be like for Buffy to be gradually losing the supernatural powers that had been gifted to her so suddenly when she was called, and trying to force down the guilt that threatened to overwhelm him every time he thought about what he was doing. He had tried arguing with the council, going all the way up to Quinten Travers himself, telling them that Buffy’s torture and subsequent wiping out of half of the Scourge of Europe the previous year should have shown them how gifted and resourceful she was and made the Cruciamentum redundant.

However, his bosses had merely told him he was “too involved” with his Slayer and insisted he follow their orders to the letter, which he had reluctantly done; injecting her every day with the drug he was holding in his hand. He looked at it again, preparing to put it away for return to the Council now that it had served its purpose, when he felt a shiver go up his back. He turned slowly to find a completely recovered and obviously angry William the Bloody staring at him with hard, amber eyes.

“That what you used on her?” Spike growled, approaching the startled man and snatching the bottle away. He threw it against the wall, smiling in satisfaction as the green liquid trickled down to the floor and into the cracks between the boards.

“Wha- what are you talking about?” Giles tried to edge towards his desk where he had holy water and stakes hidden in a drawer.

“Talking about settin’ up your own slayer to be killed,” Spike snarled, backhanding the other man away from the desk. “That what they teach you in Wanker school? Make the poor little chits depend on you, then lead ‘em to their deaths when they’re too old?”

“What – what are you talking about? I’m not leading anybody to her death.” Giles covered his shock at being found out with righteous indignation. “It’s a simple trial – nothing Buffy can’t handle even if she is a bit…even if she is less than optimal.”

“Got all the faith in the world in this slayer myself,” Spike said quietly, “but I don’t see her taking on Kralik and winnin’ without a bit of help.”

“Who?”

“Kralik. As if you didn’t know. They’re sending her up against a serial killer – a vampire that was pretty much of a demon before he ever lost his soul. Don’t know quite how the Council got their hands on him, or how they’ve managed to keep him under control, but I do know there isn’t a normal girl in the world who can hope to survive him, slayer or no. Buffy’s one of the few slayers I’d wager could take him on – IF she had all her powers. But she doesn’t, does she, you miserable pillock? Now where are you supposed to be delivering her?”

Spike’s tone left no room for negotiation, although the watcher made an attempt to resist him.

“I fail to see what business that is of yours. Unless you’ve come back to avenge yourself against my Slayer for dusting your paramour last year and don’t want another vampire to beat you to it.”

Giles’ haughty tone and the tinge of fear on his face told Spike that he had no idea what kind of relationship his slayer had built with the former Slayer of Slayers and he cocked his head at the other man before answering.

“You don’t know your slayer very well, do you, Watcher? I didn’t come back to hurt her, you bloody idiot. I’m here to save her.”

“Save her? William the Bloody is going to save my slayer? From what?”

Spike’s eyes flared amber again and his face shifted as he snarled at the suspicious man.

“From the man she trusts to take care of her and from the tossers he works for. The cowards who send little girls out to do their work, and then kill them off when they get old enough to start thinkin’ for themselves. If you think they expect her to walk out of that trap, you haven’t had your eyes open, Watcher. They don’t expect her to kill Kralik – they expect her to die – painfully.”

Giles paled in the face of the vampire’s genuine wrath.

“No,” he gasped. “They wouldn’t – I mean, we’ve had our disagreements about Buffy’s methods, but they would never…” His voice trailed off as he remembered how often his superiors had complained about his slayer and her unconventional approach to her calling. “Oh, dear Lord.”

“Don’t think the Lord is going to help her,” Spike said flatly. “Now tell me where she’s supposed to go tonight so that I can get there first.”

“Suppose I don’t tell you?” Giles ventured bravely, even though his every instinct was screaming that this vampire could be trusted – at least as far as Buffy’s safety was concerned.

“I’ll kill you,” Spike said without flinching. “I’ll kill you and then find a demon to tell me where it’s going to happen. But that will take longer.”

“You might kill me anyway.”

“Definitely would like to, Watcher,” the vampire said with a feral grin. “But I don’t think the Slayer would be too happy about it.”

In spite of himself, Giles cringed away from the toothy smile, grateful that, for whatever reason, the deadly vampire facing him was unwilling to do anything to upset Buffy. He felt his stomach clench as he went over what Spike had told him about the vampire the Council had chosen for Buffy’s Cruciamentum and he was forced to admit that Spike was probably correct in his assessment of the Council’s intentions.

“They’re at an old hotel called the Sunnydale Arms. I’m to drop her off at 7:00. It’s already gone six,” he added meekly.

Spike nodded and turned to leave. “Tell me, Watcher,” he asked quietly, “Where does Buffy think she’s going tonight?”

The man startled at hearing Spike refer to Buffy by her given name before realizing what he’d asked.

“To…to an ice show,” he stammered. “She enjoys ice skating.”

“Yeah, I know.” The vampire’s quiet reply echoed in the large room as he disappeared into the darkness gathering outside.

With a sigh, Giles prepared to go to his Slayer’s home and apologize for what he had almost done to her. The realization that he would have been sending her to her death was the little push he needed to reject the organization to which he had been attached for so much of his life. Rebellious instincts that had been dormant for years began to surface and he found himself wanting to follow the blond vampire and make his own contribution to keeping his slayer safe. Instead, he turned reluctant feet in the direction of Revello Drive and prepared to explain to Buffy and her mother what he had almost done and why he was abandoning the idea. He left the question of why William the Bloody was so interesting in keeping his slayer alive as something to worry about at a later date.

Chapter Three

Spike slipped quietly through the darkness surrounding the abandoned hotel, his senses on full alert for any sign of council members. He was confident of his ability to handle himself against humans, but also more than aware that the expertise required for handling a vampire of Kralik’s size and reputation meant that the personnel on this particular visit were probably hardened and experienced demon hunters and not to be under-estimated. The silence he sensed from the old rickety building was ominous; at this point he should have been able to hear heartbeats from the humans and been able to assess not only how many of them were in the building, but where they were positioned.

Using all the stealth he’d learned through the years, he crept into the open building, moving silently from room to room until he had determined that it was empty of any form of life – human or demonic. He studied the room in the basement, taking in the broken restraints in the closet in which they had obviously been holding the insane vampire. His stomach clenched in fear as he realized why he couldn’t sense anyone in the building. A quick search, using his heightened sense of smell, and he found the bodies of the Council workers where Kralik had hidden them in a furnace room.

Whirling, he ran from the building and jumped into his old DeSoto, pulling away from the dark building before the door was even shut. He drove as quickly as he could towards Buffy’s house, grateful that the time he had spent stalking and studying her the previous year had given him a good understanding of Sunnydale’s streets. Flinging open the door before the car had quit shuddering to a stop, he ran towards the house, intent on preventing Kralik from carrying out his mission to remove the Slayer. Completing forgetting that he had never been inside Buffy’s home, he yanked open the front door only to bounce off the mystical barrier designed to keep creatures such as him outside.

He snarled with frustration, even as hope blossomed when he realized that Kralik would also have been barred from entering the home uninvited. He glanced at the driveway, noticing for the first time that the Watcher’s car was parked neatly behind Joyce’s SUV. He jumped off the porch, circling the house to see if he could find someone to let him in. Again, he could hear no heartbeats from inside and a cold dread settled in his chest as he worked his way towards the backyard.

Relief when he finally picked up several rapid heartbeats turned to fear as he rounded the corner just in time to see Buffy launch herself, stake in hand, at the laughing monster holding her mother by the neck. With a satisfied growl, the large vampire tossed Joyce’s limp body at the advancing watcher and grabbed Buffy in mid-air. Her weakened body was no match for the vampire, and the slayer was pulled against his chest immediately, her throat within easy reach of his teeth.

Spike’s shout was lost in the roar of the angered creature when his attempt to bite Buffy was thwarted by the mystical barrier surrounding her scarred throat. With an outraged snarl, Kralik shook the Slayer and demanded, “What kind of a vampire claims a Slayer instead of killing her?”

“The kind that is going to remove your head.”

Spike’s voice was calm and deadly, his primary goal being to get Buffy away from the much bigger vampire before he could snap Buffy’s neck with his angry shaking.

“William the Bloody.” The surprised vamp looked Spike up and down, clearly recognizing the well-known Slayer of Slayers.

“Kralik, the pile o’ dust,” Spike answered grimly, moving closer to the other vampire and his feebly struggling captive.

“This is yours?” Kralik held Buffy at arms’ length and looked from her to the advancing master vampire. Spike was in game face, his eyes almost glowing with anger, his fangs and claws fully exposed.

“She is,” he answered with a snarl. “It would be in your best interest to put her down…carefully.”

“Why?” the insane vampire asked with a sneer. “If you’re going to try to kill me, I might as well take her with me. What difference will it make?”

“It’ll make the difference between my dustin’ you quickly and findin’ out how well you can handle years of torture,” Spike said mildly.

“You talk big for a demon that wants to save a human instead of eating her,” Kralik replied. He appeared to be readying himself for Spike’s attack, but then suddenly threw Buffy at the advancing master vampire and whirled to run.

Without even looking at the Slayer he caught easily, Spike set her on her feet and leaped after the other vamp, catching him before he reached the end of the yard. The two vampires went down in a snarling, snapping tangle as the larger one tried to use his size and weight to make up for the difference between himself and the much older, stronger and more experienced fighter. Although Kralik had been feared for his insanity and cruelty, he much preferred to prey on weak human women and he rarely, if ever, fought with other demons.

Spike, on the other hand, had spent his entire unlife searching for opportunities to prove himself against worthy opponents and he had well over one hundred years of experience upon which to draw as he fought with the desperate killer. Only the fact that the larger vamp kept him on the ground and wrestling, rather than allowing Spike to use his superior agility and speed as he would have if on his feet, prevented Spike from quickly crippling the other demon. He needed every bit of his greater strength to keep the other vampire from pinning him to the ground and using his meaty fists on him.

A sudden cry from Joyce distracted him for just a scant second, but it was enough to allow the other vampire to push Spike’s face into the grass and grab his hair. The blond had no time to worry about his vulnerable position, as the other vampire’s hand disappeared from where it had taken hold of his chin, dissolving into dust that drifted past his face. He rolled over to find Buffy standing above him, the stake she had used to kill Kralik still clenched in her fist.

With a quiet, “Thank you, love,” he rose easily to his feet and stepped towards her only to be shocked by the angry expression on her face and her flinch away from him.

“Why are you here?” she asked angrily, giving no sign that she was glad to see him.

Spike gestured helplessly at the dust floating away on a small breeze and at her.

“Should think it would be obvious, Slayer.” He tried to keep from his voice the anger and pain her apparent rejection was causing.

“So, there was no other reason?” Behind her cold tone and immobile face he could see the hurt feelings she tried to hide as she braced herself to hear that he hadn’t come back for her. His anger vanished in a rush of understanding.

“I’m still a vampire, pet,” he answered softly. “And you’re still the Slayer – in spite of the best efforts of the bloody Council,” he added with a pointed glare at her watcher.

“So, you’re not staying then? You didn’t come back to…Were you even going to let me know you were here?” Her voice trembled in spite of herself and she could hear Giles as he demanded to know ”What the bloody hell” was going on.

“Shut up, Rupert,” Joyce said firmly. “And come into the house with me.”

The watcher tried to protest, but one look at the angry woman’s face and he surrendered, lending her his arm for support as her limp reminded him that she had just suffered some painful, if minor, injuries from her encounter with Kralik. The two adults entered the kitchen and closed the door firmly behind them, leaving Spike and Buffy staring at each other from several feet apart. Identical expressions of heartbreak and yearning chased themselves across both faces and it was several minutes before Buffy’s shoulders slumped and she sat down heavily on the top step of the back porch.

Moving slowly and tentatively, the vampire approached the steps and lowered himself to sit beside her, close to, but not touching, the trembling girl.

“You weren’t going to let me know you were here, were you?” She wrapped her arms around her body tightly as though trying to hold herself together. He reached a hand towards her shoulder and then thought better of it when she seemed to flinch again.

His heart ached as he shook his head slowly. “I didn’t want you to see me. Thought I’d get in and out before you knew I was here. I got held up and got here later than I’d planned to and didn’t have time to take care of things before your watcher started stealing your strength. And then that ugly git escaped before I could kill him...”

“Why didn’t you want me to see you?” she asked in a dull, subdued voice. “Didn’t you want to see me?”

He touched her cheek, turning her face towards him and willing her to read the feelings he was reluctant to express verbally; needing her to understand that it had nothing to do with his not loving her and everything to do with not wanting to cause her more pain.

“I didn’t want to do that to you, love.” His face softened as he saw the tears gathering in her eyes. “Didn’t want to make it hard for you. I know my leavin’ like I did last time hurt you – I didn’t want to …to start … I didn’t want to do it again. Your mum said you were getting’ on with your life – getting’ ready to graduate from high school, go to college an’ all. You didn’t need a monster coming back to muck that up for you.”

“And you didn’t think it would hurt me to find out you’d been here and couldn’t be bothered to say ‘Hi’?” she grumbled at him, anger replacing her hurt feelings as she recognized the truth in his words.

“It wouldn’t be ‘Hi’ we’d be wantin’ to say to each other, pet. You know that. And it would jus’ make the leavin’ that much harder to do.”

“Pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you, vampire?” she sniffed with annoyance. “For all you know, I’ve forgotten all about you and moved on. I have boyfriends now. Lots of boyfriends. It’s not like I couldn’t say ‘Hi’ to an old friend and be just fine with it.”

She peered sideways at him to see if he believed her brave words; words which were completely contradicted by her previous behavior. To her surprise, the sad, resigned expression on his face seemed to indicate that he did believe her and she gaped at him as he answered quietly.

“That would be my hope, pet. An’ if that’s really the case, I’m glad to hear it. Been a long time since I was in my teens; I’ve forgotten how quickly hearts mend at that age. Guess it would have been just me that would have had trouble with it then.”

“If you believe that, then you’re dumber than you look,” she huffed indignantly, getting to her feet. She ignored his angry growl and stomped towards the kitchen door saying, “Get up and come in the house. You and Giles have some serious ‘splainin’ to do.”

“I should be leavin’,” he said quietly, standing up but not moving towards the door. “I’ve done what I came here to do. The rest is between you and your watcher.”

He watched her indignation fade as his words sank in. The transition from angry slayer to devastated young woman was clearly visible on her face and in her body language; she seemed suddenly smaller and more frail, her shoulders slumping and her face crumbling before him.

“Don’t you want to spend any time with me at all?” she whispered. “Is it that hard to pretend you’re glad to see me?”

Spike was on the porch and had his arms around her before Buffy had finished speaking, holding her quaking body against him and murmuring his apologies against her hair. He could feel the tears in his own eyes as he gave in to the sheer joy of allowing her to once again fill his senses. For long minutes they remained together, the vampire clutching the Slayer tightly, the girl sobbing with relief as he repeated over and over how glad he was to see her, how much he’d missed being with her every day, what a total “wanker” he was for allowing her to think he didn’t want to see her, to hold her, to kiss her, to taste her… It was when he realized what he had - in his desire to reassure her of his feelings, - said that he stopped murmuring to her and tried to put some distance between them.

Distance that Buffy, weakened as she was, was still able to prevent. Her hands dug into his sides fiercely as she refused to allow him to pull away. The silent battle ended with the vampire’s sigh of resignation and his complete capitulation as he put his arms around her again. Not until she felt him give in and cocoon her within his powerful embrace did she relax her grip on the skin over his ribs. With a gasp of relief, she loosened her hold, cringing slightly as she realized that she had been holding on with her fingernails and had undoubtedly left gouges in the vampire’s flesh. She slid her arms around his waist and rested her head against his chest, nuzzling into the familiar-smelling tee shirt and reacquainting herself with the scent and feel of him.

Finally, raising her head to look at him soberly, she whispered, “Will you come inside with me? Just for a while? I don’t want you to leave yet.”

“Whatever you want, love,” he replied with a mental groan. “Not really all that crazy about leavin’ you yet, either, truth be told.” He grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him before she turned away. “But you DO understand it’s gonna happen, right? I will be leavin’ again.”

“I’m not going to think about that right now,” she said, tossing her head and letting her silky hair brush his face. “We’re just going to go inside and sit together and hold hands and watch Giles wig out. I’ll worry about when you’re going to leave later.” She pulled him with her, remembering at the last second to add, “Come in, Spike,” as she opened the door and crossed the threshold.

“After you, Scarlett,” he agreed wryly, following her into the bright kitchen to face her mother and the man who had almost sent her to her death.

Chapter Four

They entered the kitchen to find Joyce and Giles sipping mugs of hot tea and glaring at each other from opposite sides of the center island. Buffy looked back and forth between the angry faces and ventured, “Okaaaay. Bad guy is dust; I’m alive. Is there something going on that I missed?”

Her watcher looked over her shoulder at the killer who had so casually followed her into the house. He saw the small smile Joyce sent toward the vampire who had saved her daughter’s life and sighed heavily.

“It would appear that I am the one who is missing information. Information that I should have had months ago.” He glared pointedly at Spike’s hand, which was resting on Buffy’s shoulder with a familiarity that made the watcher’s flesh crawl. “Why didn’t you tell me you had established a…relationship…with another vampire? Did it not occur to you that as your watcher, this might be something I needed to know?”

Buffy looked at him with eyes that held wisdom well beyond her years and she nodded her head briefly before answering.

“What would you have done?” she asked quietly. “You freaked when you found out I didn’t kill Spike. What would you have done if you knew I was feeding him?”

The man gave the vampire a hard look; confused at the calm acceptance he saw in Spike’s eyes when he responded truthfully, “I would have staked him.”

His statement was flat and cold. Years of training would not have permitted him to accept the continued existence of a master vampire. No matter that the vampire in question might have assisted his slayer in her time of need, he was an abomination and not to be tolerated. That his slayer, who had suffered so harshly at the hands of a formerly-souled vampire would not have learned her lesson about allowing demons into her life made him angrier than he could have imagined.

“And you’re wondering why I didn’t tell you?”

“When did you find the time to—how did this happen?”

Buffy looked at the older man coldly. “Giles, exactly what did you think I was doing most of last year? I’m pretty sure I don’t remember telling you all about my fun days in school or the great time I was having partying every night. I know for a fact that Willow tried to talk to you about how I wasn’t hanging out with them like I used to and you blew her off. You told her to give me some space. All you cared about was that I reported in with how many vampires and demons I slayed every night.

“Well, guess what? I needed somebody to talk to; somebody who knew what I’d been through and understood my life. Spike was there for me. He let me rant and cry and worry that I’d never be able to have a boyfriend again. He let me sit and mope if that’s what I felt like doing, and he made me laugh when I started to feel too sorry for myself. He’s the reason I’m able to function more or less normally now. And he did it for me. The Slayer who killed his family; who staked the woman he’d loved for over one hundred years. There was nothing in it for him – he could have paid Willy to send him blood every day. And it would have been human blood, not the pigs’ blood I made him eat.”

“From the way he is touching you so familiarly, I would say there apparently WAS something in it for him.”

Giles’ voice was barely under control as he observed the vampire’s gentle stroking of Buffy’s arm and shoulder. When his cruel words caused Spike’s eyes to flash and his fangs to descend, he was suddenly very grateful for the stake he was holding under the countertop. However, before the vampire could move around the stricken slayer and carry out his clearly lethal intentions, Joyce reached across the island and slapped the watcher across the face hard enough to rock him off the stool.

“Never, ever speak to my daughter like that again,” she said with barely-controlled rage. “She has just told you how much being with Spike helped her recover from the horrific experience that your friend set up. If their friendship went beyond the mutual comfort and emotional healing that was all it was in the beginning that is their business. And Spike has done his best to give her a chance to have a normal life. He broke both their hearts when he left Sunnydale; but he did it anyway. For Buffy. So that she could have as close to a normal life as possible. He only came back to save her life – from the very people you work for.”

The still-furious watcher had the grace to look ashamed and could not help but notice that the outraged vampire had not attacked him, but had, in fact, responded to a whispered “No” from his slayer by relaxing back into his human face. However, the eyes that continued to bore into the older man’s were chips of blue ice that promised future retribution.

The watcher turned to her mother and said plaintively, “I cannot believe you were okay with this, Joyce. Wasn’t one disastrous relationship with a vampire enough?”

“Buffy’s relationships are her business, not ours. Another vampire certainly would not have been my first choice; but Spike is not that other…creature. I know he loves her and I trust him. He would never do anything to hurt her…physically.”

Joyce couldn’t resist adding the final word as she remembered the months of crying that had followed Spike’s departure almost a year ago. When his eyes squeezed shut briefly, she knew he was not planning to stay this time either and her heart ached for Buffy.

To her surprise, it was the Slayer who spoke up, saying flatly – even as she clutched Spike’s arm hard enough to whiten her knuckles – “He’s not staying. We don’t have a…a…relationship. We’re not stupid. I’m the Slayer; he’s a vampire. We know we can’t be together.”

The vampire nodded his head in sad agreement, even as he wrapped his arms around Buffy and pulled her against his chest. The watcher could think of nothing to say except “Oh”; the arguments that he’d been preparing completely wiped out by the calm acceptance that the two unhappy super beings were demonstrating.

“Well, then, I guess I…I guess there’s no need for…as long as you both see the wisdom of…”

When there was no response except an almost imperceptible tightening of Spike’s arms and a matching tensing of Buffy’s hands where she had placed them over his as though seeking to hold herself within his embrace, the watcher’s voice trailed off and there was an uncomfortable silence. A silence broken only by the sound of the vampire’s low rumbling purr which both Giles and Joyce could see was visibly relaxing Buffy.

Eventually, the two blonds moved to one stool, Spike sitting with the Slayer standing between his open legs and leaning against his chest. While Joyce fixed them mugs of hot chocolate -- smiling at Spike’s request for “those cute little marshmallows” -- they faced Buffy’s watcher and agreed to answer his questions.

When Giles asked how they went from mortal enemies whose stated purpose in life was to kill each other, to the close “friends” that they had obviously become, Buffy shrugged and struggled to explain how disconnected to her former life she had felt after the events in the mansion; how isolated from her friends and the other students at Sunnydale high school she was. She stumbled over her words as she tried to explain how reluctant she had been to have anything to do with boys for such a long time and how supportive Spike had been as he encouraged her to venture back into the school’s social life.

“He…he always told me I would be attracted to somebody again someday; that I would learn to…to love again. We just didn’t know it would be him.”

Spike had frozen in place when she talked about learning to love again, telling himself she was speaking metaphorically, or about physical attraction, not that she was saying that she had fallen in love with him.

(She cares, yeah. I’d have to be blind not to see that, but it doesn’t mean she’s in love, love. She’s just grateful and maybe a little bit…a little bit interested in shaggin’ me again. But it’s not love. Not like I mean it.)

In deference to her mother, Buffy glossed over the physical aspects of their relationship, merely saying that Spike had felt the need to leave shortly after they discovered that their friendship had blossomed into something else. Joyce was not fooled, remembering the long weeks of Buffy’s sleeping in Spike’s tee shirt and on the sheets from his bed, but she kept her thoughts to herself and nodded as though there was nothing more natural than for two people who had just discovered that they had romantic feelings for each other to agree to separate forever.

Still at a loss as to how everything he’d been taught about vampires and their ability to control the bloodlust that emerged with the demon could have permitted Spike to tolerate Buffy’s company long enough to establish a friendship, Giles fixed a hard eye on the vampire and asked coldly, “And what about you? What would possess a vampire of your…reputation…to continue to peacefully spend time with the girl who destroyed your family? Once her value to you as a weapon to use against Angelus was gone?” he added as a reminder that he was not fooled about Spike’s original motivation for helping the slayer.

“She was kind to me,” he said softly, meeting the watcher’s eyes firmly. “I don’t repay kindness with treachery, Watcher.”

“Because vampires are so notoriously honorable,” the other man scoffed, all but rolling his eyes with skepticism.

“Tell me, Watcher,” Spike put just the slightest bit of derogatory emphasis on the term, “what is so honorable about a man who would take advantage of a girl’s complete trust in him to send her into a trap without even warning her he was doing it? A man who would tell her they were going to celebrate her birthday by going to an ice show when he was actually planning on sending her to her death?”

“I didn’t know that, goddammit!” Giles exploded at the vampire who just smirked at him while Buffy and her mother glared.

“But you did know you were robbing her of her strength,” Joyce said quietly. “And that she was going to have to face a vampire without any of her powers.”

His shoulders slumped in defeat. “I did,” he admitted softly. “I did, and I cannot tell you how much it hurt me, or how much I regret it. I really had no idea it would be dangerous for her. Buffy is a very resourceful slayer and I assumed…” His voice trailed off and he faced the girl he’d come to love like a daughter and said firmly, “I will be handing in my resignation to the Council directly. I will not work for an organization that would do that to one of its warriors.”

“So, you won’t be my watcher anymore?” Buffy’s voice held just a trace of fear and sadness, although her anger at his actions still held the most sway over her emotions.

“Surely, you would rather not have me?” he asked with astonishment.

“You’re going to leave me?”

The unspoken “like my real father did” lay heavily in the air of the kitchen. Spike’s wince at the resignation and grief in her voice didn’t escape anyone’s notice and Buffy tilted her head back to look up him reassuringly. Ignoring the watcher’s barely suppressed cough and her mother’s gasp, she said clearly, “As long as I know you love me, as long as I know you will come back when I need you, you haven’t really left me. You’re just…not here. I can live with that.”

“ ‘S no way for a girl to live, sweetheart.” His calm answer was belied by the hope and anguish on his face. “Waitin’ for me to breeze into town for a bit and then away again. ‘S not what I want for you, love.”

“It’s what I want for me,” she said stubbornly. “I want to know that you’ll come if—when—I need you. For anything,” she added so softly only he could hear her.

Joyce interrupted them abruptly, standing up and wincing as she tried to put weight on her bruised hip.

“This sounds to me like a private argument; one that neither Mr. Giles nor I need to hear. What needs to be settled right now is what you will do for a watcher if Giles resigns.”

Buffy turned her bruised eyes back on the man she had trusted to take care of her and asked quietly, “What will you do if – when you leave?”

“I was not thinking about leaving the Hellmouth, Buffy,” he said gently, putting all his affection for her in his voice. “I would not leave you alone if you are willing to still have me in your life. I am simply going to resign from the Council.”

“No loss there,” Spike snorted. “What have they ever done for you lot except try to kill Buffy?”

“It’s quite true that my employers have had some…issues…with Buffy’s independence, not to mention her predilection for falling in love with the very creatures she is meant to destroy,” he added wryly. “However, she has been an excellent slayer and guardian of the Hellmouth and I daresay she is quite capable of continuing to do so with or without their assistance.”

“So,” Buffy asked dubiously, “you think they’re going to just leave us alone?”

“Oh, I suspect there is a new slayer already on her way here. No doubt she will appear with her own watcher in tow. However, I cannot see why they would object to having the Hellmouth guarded by two slayers. Surely, between the two of you, you will be able to handle anything that comes up. Without assistance from any outside sources,” he added with a quick glance at the vampire still hovering protectively over his slayer.

“Well, that’s all good then,” Spike responded through tightly clenched teeth. “You won’t be needing me for backup if you have another slayer around, will you, pet?”

“What if that’s not what I need you for?” Buffy asked softly, leaning into his chest and rubbing her face against his shirt.

“And here we are again!” Joyce interrupted brightly. “Not a conversation we all need to participate in.” She began to limp towards the hallway, saying conversationally, “I, for one, am going to have a long soak in the tub before I go to bed; hopefully it will turn out that some trace of Buffy’s fast healing has been shared with her mother. Mr. Giles, I am sure you can see yourself out?”

“Please, Joyce,” his voice was rough with emotion, “call me Rupert. I know you are angry – and you have every right to be so – but I love your daughter as though she were my own. I promise you, I will never again do anything to knowingly put her into danger.”

“Gonna take up patrolling for her, then, are you?” Spike asked mildly.

With a glare, the man growled, “Anything not a part of her everyday duties as the Chosen One. I cannot change what she is; I can only guide her and support her decisions in whatever manner is necessary.”

Before there could be more harsh words exchanged, Buffy moved away from Spike and said forcefully, “Okay, that’s enough for the night. Mom is going to soak her sore hip and go to bed; Giles is going to go home and call the Council and tell them what they can do with their Crucia – whatever; and I am going to spend some time with my vampire before he disappears again. We can go back to yelling at each other tomorrow.”

Surprisingly, there was no argument from either Joyce or Giles as they said “good night” quietly. When the kitchen was quiet and empty except for the two blonds, Buffy moved back into Spike’s open arms, sliding her hands around his waist and looking up at him wistfully.

“So,” she said as casually as she could, “about that ‘hi’….”

With a groan he tightened his grip on her, whispering softly, “You know this is a really bad idea, don’t you, pet? It’s just going to make it harder…on both of us.”

“There you go again,” she giggled, “thinking you’re all that and that I can’t resist you.”

Rather than answer her verbally, he nuzzled her neck until she was tilting her head back to let him suck lightly on his mark, then trailed kisses up to her waiting mouth. When their lips met for the first time in a year, it took only a fr