Summary – A short ficlet from Season VII. This was inspired by Amy B’s “I’ve Got to Stop Thinking About That” that can be found on her site I’ll Be Your Mirror. http://www.sand-in-my-shoes.com/mirror/
Anya and Spike have just entered the house after their aborted trip to the Bronze and a conversation about orgasms which has inspired Spike to shove Anya and Xander together before retreating to his basement room.
“Anya, what’s wrong with Spike?” Buffy repeated in a voice that was rapidly losing its ‘curious friend’ tone and edging toward ‘pissed off Slayer’. She wasn’t sure what they’d been talking about on their “outing” to the bronze, but from Spike’s muttering on his way to the basement, she had her suspicions.
“I don’t know,” the oblivious woman huffed. “You’d have thought I was asking him to go out and kill somebody instead of just—mmmph!”
Xander suddenly flashed back to what Buffy had told him she wanted to do to Anya when she saw her wrapped around Spike on the table in the Magic Box. His hand snaked out and covered Anya’s mouth before she could finish her answer. Her infuriated glare was met with brown eyes pleading for understanding as he whispered in her ear one word, “Slayer.”
Anya’s angry frown gave way to a puzzled stare, which gave way to wide eyes as his message sank in. She nodded her head vigorously to indicate she got it, and he cautiously removed his hand from her mouth, gently running his fingers down her jaw line as he did so.
“Well?” Buffy’s tone hadn’t improved any since Xander’s abrupt interruption of Anya’s reply and with a frightened glance at the man beside her, the ex-demon stuttered out, “Uh, uh, I was asking him to…to…talk to Xander for me about orgasms. Yes!” she continued, happy with her recovery. “We were talking about orgasms and he said he would talk to Xander. And he did. Sort of.” She frowned, remembering his unceremonious shove toward her ex and his angry command to “Have one off.”
“You were talking to Spike about orgasms?” Buffy’s calm, even voice was belied by the look on her face and Xander unconsciously placed himself between his ex-fiancée and his friend.
He tugged on Anya’s hand, pulling her toward the other end of the house as he smiled apologetically at everyone.
“This is probably something Anya and I should discuss in private,” he murmured as he edged them out of the room and away from Buffy’s narrowed-eyed glare.
There was silence in the room for several seconds as everyone processed what they had just seen. Then Andrew piped up, “Oh, that is sooo sweet! They’re going to go have sex and it’s all because of Spike.”
Ignoring the “ewwww”s from Dawn and the younger potentials, he continued cheerfully, “I mean, you can certainly see why anyone spending time around Spike would be thinking about having sex. What with the cheekbones, and the six-pack abs, and….”
Buffy chose to ignore the smitten boy’s drooling over the vampire and focus on his words. With a guttural growl that sounding suspiciously like one of the creatures she hunted, she marched into the kitchen and yanked open the basement door.
Making no attempt to be quiet, she slammed the door behind her and stomped down the stairs, not stopping until she was standing over the blond man who was lying flat on his back, arm over his face. She stared down at him until he moved the arm to glance up at her angry face and growl, “What?”
“We need to talk.”
“Now is really NOT a good time, Slayer.”
He put the arm back over his eyes and wished her away. The sound of her heavy breathing, the swishing of the blood rushing angrily through her veins and the unique scent that he would know anywhere all conspired to cause an unwanted reaction in his groin. Once again, he lamented not having his duster handy to hide his reaction to her presence.
“Why is it not a good time?” she demanded.
“Because I’ve had enough for one night of bloody stupid bints who don’t know what they really want, that’s why!”
He sat up and glared back at her briefly. His vehement reply startled them both and there was silence while he regretted his words and Buffy tried to understand them.
In a much calmer tone of voice she asked, “What did Anya think she wanted?”
“Leave it alone, Slayer. She’s getting what she really wants.” He sank back down on the cot and put his arm back over his face.
“What did she think she wanted?” Buffy persisted.
“Leave. It. Alone.”
“No,” she said stubbornly. “Tell me what she wanted, Spike. I need to know.”
“You really don’t,” he said flatly.
“I want to know.”
“Can’t always get what you want, pet. You ought to know that by now.”
“She wanted you to have sex with her again, didn’t she?” The slight tremble in her voice wasn’t lost on either one of them and he sighed deeply.
“Nothing happened, Buffy. Leave the poor girl alone.”
“Why not what?”
“Why did nothing happen? It’s not like you haven’t done it bef—”
The cold look on his face stopped her in mid-whine. He glared at her until she dropped her eyes and started to turn away.
“I’m sorry,” she surprised them both by admitting. “I know I have no right to act like I…”
“Nothing happened because I’m a one-woman man. Drunken solace and the First Evil’s string-pullin’ to the contrary, I always have been and always will be. Now, can I please have some peace and quiet?”
He turned his back to her, facing the wall and lying as still as the corpse he actually was. Buffy chewed her lip for a minute as she stared at his rigid back, then turned and walked to the base of the stairs. She paused, wondering what she would do if he called her back, disappointed that he hadn’t. Before she could decide if she wanted to swallow her pride and go back to the one man who had never run out on her, there was a commotion upstairs and Dawn was yelling down to her that new potentials needed to be escorted from the bus station. With one last wistful look over her shoulder, she straightened her back and went back up to her life and her responsibilities.
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