For Taming the Muse prompt
Who's fooling who?
Who is Fooling Whom?
"This is going to work. I swear it's going to work."
"Or, it won't work and Buffy will kill us both. Okay, maybe not you, but me - I'm dead. "
"Don't be silly, Buffy won't kill you. You're human." Andrew visibly relaxed until Dawn finished her thought. "She'll let Spike do it."
"Are you sure a stressed slayer and an unchipped vampire are the best people to be pulling an April Fool's joke on? I mean, I'm as up for a little mischief as the next guy, but..."
"Don't be such a wimp. Just bring the chains up with you."
"She's going to kill us. I know she's going to kill us." Andrew muttered to himself the entire time he was following Dawn into Buffy's room. He watched apprehensively as she tied brightly colored scarves to each corner of the bed, then gestured for him to bring the chains closer. They attached the chains to the legs of the bed, bringing them up and onto the bedspread where they could be entwined with the scarves.
Dawn stepped back to admire their handiwork.
"What do you think? Will they get the picture?"
"I think I shouldn't even know that you know what the picture is," Andrew replied, his vision swimming as his imagination took over and he pictured either or both of the scary blond people making use of the chains and scarves.
Ignoring him, Dawn opened the door and peered out to be sure that no one was watching.
"Okay, let's get out of here. Part Two of Give Buffy and Spike a Clue is in effect now."
They went downstairs and strolled casually from room to room, until they knew that most of the potentials had gone out to see a movie. Dawn approached Buffy and suggested in her most sisterly tone of voice, "It's pretty quiet for a change. Why don't you take a nice hot shower and go to bed early? Spike said he'd do a quick patrol for you if you wanted to get relaxed and comfortable."
"Spike said I should get 'relaxed and comfortable'?"
Dawn backpedaled quickly. "Well, not in so many words, no. He just said he thought you looked like you could use a nice hot shower and a good night's sleep and he said he'd take care of everything for you. He told me to send you to take the shower while he...." Fortunately, Dawn didn't have to think of some legitimate reason why Spike would be in Buffy's room, as her sister stood up and stretched.
"That sounds pretty good, actually. I think I will take that shower. Tell him I said, 'thanks."
Dawn waited until she heard the shower running, then signaled to Andrew who sighed, but went down to the basement. Spike arched an eyebrow at him and said, "What?"
"Un...nothing? I mean, something. But not my something. Buffy said...she wants you to..."
"Buffy's in the shower," Spike said shortly, pointing at the pipes above his head.
"Well, yeah, she is. But she said she really needs to talk to you right away and for you to wait for her in her room."
Spike shrugged and reached for his shirt, recoiling when Andrew said, "No!"
"No? I can't put my shirt on?"
"No time for that. Just get up there. It's...it's world-ending important. She needs you right now. Just as you are."
Hearing the water shut off, Spike began to believe that the little twit in front of him actually knew something and he rushed up the stairs, pushing open the door to Buffy's room only to find it empty of everything except some lit candles and a very strangely decorated bed.
He turned his head as the door opened and Buffy, clad only in a big towel, came into the room and took in the half-naked vampire and the bed with its chains and scarves. "This is how you want me to relax? This?"
"Don't put this on me, pet. You're the one insisted I had to run up here half-dressed."
"I said no such thing! You're supposed to be out patrolling for me."
"Which I'd be happy to do, but you didn't need to have Andrew sends me up here to tell me that's what you wanted."
"I didn't call you up here! Dawn said you were going to--"
The sound of raised voices brought the listening duo to the ajar door and they stuck their heads in. Both Spike and Buffy whirled to glare at them.
Dawn and Andrew exchanged frightened looks.
"It was her idea!" Andrew blurted. "She said if we put you together under the right circumstances, you'd start boinking each other again and neither one of you would be so cranky."
"Out." Buffy's face was frozen in an expression of horror and rage.
When neither Dawn nor Andrew had moved to leave or close the door, Spike's face changed and he started towards the door, snarling convincingly. With a frightened squeal, Dawn slammed the door shut and the only other sound from the other side was their running footsteps as she and Andrew flew down the hall and stairs.
Spike and Buffy stood, frozen, staring at the now shut door for long minutes. Finally, he walked over and turned the lock on the doorknob.
"I've got to say, pet," he said, turning to eye her lasciviously, "you do know how their little minds work."
"I told you," she said, dropping the towel and holding out her arms. "I knew they'd try to throw us together. Now we don't have to sneak around. Everyone will think it's their fault we're back together."
Spike stepped into her embrace and ran his hands over her damp skin. He picked her up and walked to the bed, falling backwards onto it and pulling her down with him. As he began to nuzzle her neck, he murmured, "Still like to know how they knew about the scarves and chains, though."